25 Days of SHUT THE F@#K UP – Day 3

Day 3: Pronounce peoples’ names correctly, or get the fuck off the airwaves!

One of my favorite thanksgiving pasttimes is ignoring just about everyone and watching football. Thanksgiving football games tend toward awesomeness. Not the Raiders/Cowboys from last year, but just about every other game. Two staples in Thanksgiving football games are the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys. Each year, the halftime reports are usually some retrospective crap about these teams and their past Thanksgiving day triumphs. During the Cowboys-Eagles game they showed a video montage on one of their legendary players of the past – Roger Staubach.

What continues to anger me every time I hear his name is the way these buffoons pronounce it. They say “Staw-back.” As in “Aw… I have an aching back.” And this is just how Joe Buck pronounced it the other night in the game. But what makes it even worse, is that sitting right next to him is another Cowboys quarterback legend – Troy Aikman. You would think that before the game Troy would say, “Hey Joe, here is the proper way to pronounce Roger’s last name.” Apparently he didn’t – and it’s not out of the question to surmize that it is because Troy himself probably doesn’t even know!

How difficult is it to pronounce Roger Staubach’s last name properly? You don’t say “Johann Sebastian Back.” It’s Bach, pronounced Bahk. Rhymes with cock. Not crack. (Wrong side.) Same with Roger’s name. Rahger Stahbahk. All vowel sounds pronounced similarly. If you don’t believe me, listen to Roger pronounce his own name right here:


Look, I’m not talking about some dipshit with a Long Island accent that sounds like he’s chewing on a bag of shit. (stooooaback!) We’re talking about Joe Buck, a football announcer. We’re talking Troy Aikman, who can’t seem to pronounce the name of the other legendary quarterback of his team that preceded him. People on the airwaves who cannot pronounce a fucking simple Goddam name, EITHER SAY IT RIGHT OR DO NOT SAY IT AT ALL! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

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