You Work, You Play, You Ought to Pay

I’m getting really sick of dating. Not for the reasons you may think (insert cliche here about all women being psycho, the good ones being taken, blah blah blah) but I’m tired of spending my hard-earned money on things that never work out. Why am I expected to pick up the bill for everything? Because I have a cock? Excuse me, but every woman I have dated since the beginning of the year 2001 has had a job – a pretty good one. Why can’t she pay for shit? Although some women seem to want to continue the way things were in the 50s, where the man paid for everything, the woman’s role has change to a point that requires them to admit that they can pay for dates, too.

Here’s what really burns my ass: Let’s say you meet someone. You start dating them. I find that, as the dude, I am still somehow expected to pay for all the entertainment. First of all, when you date someone, you spend time with him or her to ascertain if your personalities are both similar and complementary in ways that would make a good relationship. Think of the money you spend during this period as an investment in the potential relationship – money that you would otherwise spend elsewhere – money that you risk if nothing ever comes of it. Why should the man be the only one taking this risk? Especially if this woman works, too? I just don’t get it – as the woman you get all the rewards with no risk? What kinda bullshit is that?

And don’t think it ends here. I just got out of a short-term relationship (2 1/2 months, with one short break-up.) I paid for almost everything in this crappy-ass relationship. When she did pay, she bought me some fucking McDonald’s. Oooooooh! The thing that pissed me off most about how this bitch expected me to pay all the time is that she had a job, in the same town, making probably the same as what I make if not maybe a little more. She lived at home with her parents, so she had no expenses. So essentially I was spending all my fucking money on her while she got to spend hers however she pleased. Does this sound fair? I once asked her when she was going to pay for something substantial and she gave me all this shit about how she needs to save for a condo. Well, Whoopee, you and your fucking condo, did you ever think that there was something *I* needed to save for, and that wasn’t going to happen if I blow my paycheck on you so you can party all fuckin week? To top it all off, *she* decides if I’m gonna get laid or not! What a crock of shit!

This is another reason why I hate the bar scene. My first reason for not even liking to go into bars/clubs to meet people is that if I were ever to approach anyone of the female extraction, she usually treats me as if I only want to get laid, which couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not even that I think you can meet quality people at a bar. It’s more that I just like to meet people. Then they act like I’m the shallow one when it’s usually the other way around. I don’t know what you think you have between your legs, honey, but I can assure you it’s not gold! And the second thing that irritates the shit out of me is that guys are always expected to buy drinks for ladies. Why bother with ladies night? Chicks (and they don’t have to be all the pretty) can get completely hammered in a bar and not spend a nickel. Even a handsome guy can’t do this, again, presumably because he has a cock. So I don’t buy drinks for chicks in bars. Fuck em. They want me to buy them a drink, they can buy me one first. That way I weed out the superficial cunts who think I’m so desperate for poontang that I’ll spend my money for a few minutes of conversation on the extremely off-chance I might get to crack one off in said poontang. If you go to bars a lot, try adopting this philosophy. You’ll be amazed at how much money you save, and the end result will be pretty much the same.

I can see it now., People reading this article, speaking of how “cheap” I am. Oh no I am not cheap. I am frugal. In case you don’t know the difference, a frugal person is economically thrifty – finding ways to save money on things, and not spending unnecessarily or unwisely. A cheap person tips the pizza delivery guy fifty cents. I tip very well, thank you. As far as I am concerned, spending your money on chicks is a losing proposition. The only economical way to date someone is to go dutch throughout the dating process. If it works out, then the man can pay sometimes, and the woman can pay sometimes. (Besides, don’t you need your man to save up for that huge rock you want?) For if this relationship is doomed to failure, and I, as the man, have paid for everything, then what’s actually happening is I’m renting your snatch. I don’t think I should have to spend all this money on you just to get laid. I call this “indirect prostitution” where instead of just giving you money to fuck me, I have to spend all this time & money on you first – and then there’s no guarantee that I’ll even get any! I suspect that this is why prostitution is illegal in this country. If we could just skip through the courting and get right to the humping, then we would be visiting bars, restaurants, clubs, and other venues a lot less often, thereby taking all that money out of the economy and putting in the hands of hookers and pimps. Nobody wants the economy to suffer, and I’d never screw a nasty, skeevy hooker. Having said that, what a woman who expects the man to pay for everything does is not too dissimilar from actual prostitution.

In the end, it’s none of my business how you spend your money, but it is my business if I am contributing all MY money to OUR relationship, and you contribute jack shit. I know some women who share my philosophy about this, but based on who I have been dating lately, they seem to be in the minority, Maybe I’m dating the wrong women. To those of you who think the man should still pay – and you think women should have equality – equality cannot be achieved if you want only the benefits of equality, and none of the drawbacks. If you are serious about equality, you need to put your money where your mouth is, and then use that money to pick up the check once in a while.

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